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25 juli 2016

Omhändertagande

Ordet medberoende eller codependent rymmer så mycket så det är ett problematiskt ord. Men om man lyfter och tittar på vad det kan innehålla så ser man att det kan innehålla måna beteenden och karaktärsdrag som har tjänat oss i uppväxten men som fungerar mindre bra och rent av hindrar oss som vuxna. Det finns all möjlighet att komma till rätta eller balansera dessa.

Medberoende personer kan:

think and feel responsible for other people—for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny.

feel anxiety, pity, and guilt when other people have a problem.

feel compelled—almost forced—to help that person solve the problem, such as offering unwanted advice, giving a rapid-fire series of suggestions, or fixing feelings.

feel angry when their help isn't effective.

anticipate other people's needs.

wonder why others don't do the same for them.

find themselves saying yes when they mean no, doing things they don't really want to be doing, doing more than their fair share of the work, and doing things other people are capable of doing for themselves.

not know what they want and need or, if they do, tell themselves what they want and need is not important.

try to please others instead of themselves.

find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others, rather than injustices done to themselves.

feel safest when giving.

feel insecure and guilty when somebody gives to them.

feel sad because they spend their whole lives giving to other people and nobody gives to them.

find themselves attracted to needy people.

find needy people attracted to them.

feel bored, empty, and worthless if they don't have a crisis in their lives, a problem to solve, or someone to help.

abandon their routine to respond to or do something for somebody else.

overcommit themselves.

feel harried and pressured.

believe deep inside other people are somehow responsible for them.

blame others for the spot the codependents are in.

say other people make the codependents feel the way they do.

believe other people are making them crazy.

feel angry, victimized, unappreciated, and used.

find other people become impatient or angry with them for all the preceding characteristics.

This inspiration is from Melody Beattie "Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself"

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